How do I get this out of my mind?

Oh no, you werent disrespectful at all. When you think of disrespectful, you think of those students who constantly insert profanity into their sentences, talk over others, fail to listen, are tardy, shows a general lack of respect for others and their time, or act as tho they are entitled to something, thus, woudlnt consider showing gratitude to anyone. This cuoldnt be more NOT YOU, right. Trust me, your TA has encountered many people, all ages, all walks of life, all different "socially" - no worries. Your behavior was probably quickly identified as being exactly what it really is, just a part of you that has not had an opportunity to become one of your strengths - simply due to lack of practice. Believe me, thats all. I was a lot like you when I was younger, but I really came into my own later on. You would NEVER know it now. As it turns out, I think i always felt "different" than my classmates as I was younger, like they werent on the same level as me. Im not saying Im some intellectual giant, nothing like that, but as far as maturity level went, I didnt feel "in-sync" with my classmates, which oddly made ME feel weird, when really I was the more "enlightened" one. Well, it all panned out. Once you leave "school" and filter into the "real world", youll find yourself surrounded by so many people, each with their own personality, some youll connect to immediately (different than anything youve ever felt before), and alas...youre "cured". Before long, public speaking, no biggie. Social engagements - youre working the room like a shining star. Oh yes, all this will be yours. In the meantime, PLEASE do not feel that your "shyness" is in anyway ensuring that you are "socially awkward" or that it will plague you, hold you back, forever. No worries. Focus, in these years, on improving yourself, your mind, etc. and working on self actualization, and before you know it, youll be sharing your life, openly, with many like-minded people. And rather than feeling intimidated or drained by that interaction, you can finally experience being energized by these casual, or intimate, relationships. Yay!! Good things ahead. Moving on, LOVE the letter, I think it will be VERY MUCH appreciated. Ive worked as a teacher for many years, and what it taught me is that the simple things mean soooo much - bc, teachers (and the like) are in it the for work itself, in it to make a difference in ONE students life, in it bc its our passion and we couldnt imagine not lending ourselves to others in this way. That said, its thankless, and the pay sucks. Why would anyone do it - for the reasons Ive mentioned. When I was in the classrooms, I KNEW I wasnt reaching everyone, but I wasnt there for them. I was there for the one, such as yourself, who broke away from the pack, sought and accepted my help, made me feel valuable and appreciated - trust me, thats why your TA is in it as well, and your letter will be worth a million dollars. That thank you may be what pulls him/her outta bed next time he/she is frustrated with the work, as a whole. Ya know what, ever since that time in my life (I ended up in a different direction), I am hyper-aware of the people in my life, service providers especially, whom I would normally have taken for granted. For this reason, the surgeon who treated me with respect when he removed my gall bladder, called to follow up, and sent me an email with pics of MY organs (omg!! awesome!!), which he certainly wasnt required to do - you betcha I went out of my way to thank him. I sent a formal card...which...I saw on his desk ONE YEAR LATER when I went an appt regarding another health issue. Wow. I did it as a matter of who I am, and what I believe, but I was amazed at how much it must have meant to him. I made mention of it, and he said, and Ill never forget, "Of course I kept it, read it all the time too. We dont get many of these you know...". WOW, thats all I can say!!! For many years, Ive been personally thanking, in one way or another, the people in my lief who have had a positive effect. Your TA will LOVE this. And lastly, DO NOT feel bad about anything, you ARE right about one thing, they LIT UP when you came for help, bc thats how they are wired - they were really happy to help you!! And the personal thank you is the cherry on top. Youre very sweet - dont be so hard on yourself, k :O)